After several delays, Ubisoft’s free roller derby game Roller Champions is now live and I’m here to tell you that it’s 100% a video game that you can play if you want.
Roller Champions pits two teams of three against each other in a race to score five points on a super-charged roller coaster. The rules are simple: Get the ball, carry it around the court (in both directions), and then put it through a hoop to score a point. Run two laps before the thump – which increases the risk of the ball being taken away by the opposing team – and you get three points; make three rounds and you give five points and an automatic victory. That is it!
Unfortunately, the gameplay is as simplistic as the rules are simple. It is to some extent unavoidable – the arenas are small and the matches last a maximum of seven minutes – but even with the relatively narrow framework, there is just not much to do. Organized, coordinated teams may find it fun to learn to effectively deliver, pump and score as a unit, but the role of Roller Champions is so limited that pickup matches are boring.
It’s not even interesting in the way that team sports are sometimes when everyone involved absorbs what is being played, because there is always that a guy who take it seriously and know what they are doing and which team they are on is going to dominate. Yes, it’s a broad general, but that’s my experience: The team with the sharply dressed guy is the team to win.
The biggest problem with Roller Champions, I think, is that it just is not violent enough. You can get your elbows up or throw a flying tackle to check other players, but not much else, and they jump up again almost immediately. You can e.g. do not grab anyone from behind and bulldog them into the woods, or drop them to the count with an evil clothesline, or drive them into the rails and keep them there while your teammates knock them out. I’m not saying Roller Champions would be better as a battle royale on wheels, but the more I think about it, the more I am not does not says it too.
It’s weird to me that the Roller Champions were delayed not just once, but twice (opens in new tab)because the gameplay I experienced looks pretty much identical to what was shown in the 2019 E3 trailer (opens in new tab). I understand that game development is complex and difficult, especially in the midst of a pandemic, but it is almost three years ago, and from a relaxed perspective, it does not seem that the game has changed meaningfully at all.
It’s a little crooked, too. Roller Champions seems more stable today than it was yesterday when it was launched: My first six attempts to play resulted in one match and five crashes. Ubisoft later said that there were connection issues caused by an unexpected wave of players and I have played several matches with only one crash today. It’s better, but still not great, of course, and some players still have it problems. Queue times can also be uncertain: Quick play matches are pretty solid now, but it took me four tries where I waited for more than two minutes each time before I was able to get into a ranked match.
Ultimately, Roller Champions is a safe, generic, completely after-the-numbers take on family-friendly (opens in new tab) roller derby that shows occasional glimpses of fun. You can not go wrong for the price – it’s free, remember – but I also do not think I would hold my breath and wait for it to be the next Rocket League. You can check it out on ubisoft.com (opens in new tab).