Mountain Dew has gone too far this time

I am the beverage consumer that beverage companies love to see go into the corner store. Several times a week I browse the back row of refrigerators with a plan to pick up my usual carbonated can, but then something colorful without fail will catch my eye – a strange new taste of a drink I’ve had before, it’s just exciting enough. “I have to try it,” I say aloud, to myself, at the gas station. Five familiar words I said to myself when I picked up a Flamin ‘Hot Mountain Dew yesterday. Five words I now regret.

Flamin ‘Hot Mountain Dew does what’s on tin Plastic bottle. The beverage manufacturers at PepsiCo (which I suspect come up with new products by throwing different flavors around in a toilet bowl until it turns solid green, red or blue) have injected moss standard Dew with “a blast of heat and citrus.” You will recognize the branding from Mountain Dews chip-shaped company cousin, Flamin ‘Hot Cheetos. A previous love for Flamin ‘Hot Cheetos was my primary motivation for giving this Dew a shot – back in middle school, “flamin’ hots” were a universal currency that could buy you anything from a less deflated basketball to short admiration from an older child .

blazing hot mountain dew

(Image credit: Future)

I eventually had to stop eating flaming hots when I got into high school. At one point, my body’s tolerance for the super-salted spice dropped. A few cheetos were all it took to give me a stomach ache that lasted for hours, so I gave up the blazing hot life and never looked back. As I now return to Flamin ‘Hot with this damn, blood-red Mountain Dew, I was prepared for a kick at the Cheetos level. To my surprise, Flamin’s Hot Mountain Dew tastes mostly like regular Dew. At least in the first place.